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Softball Community:
Hi, it’s Brentt of Extra Inning Softball
I sit in the Long Beach (Calif.) airport as I write this (3:30 pm PST, Tuesday, May 18, 2021), waiting for my return flight home.
So many of you have sent me and Extra Inning Softball your beautiful and touching messages and tributes to Carlos. There have been hundreds of them and I’ll share many at some point in the near future.
Your emails and texts with your best wishes, prayers and love for Carlos have been amazing and incredibly touching and very, very appreciated by me and Carlos’s family.
So… it is with the heaviest of hearts that I share this news: Carlos is gone.
Physically, his heart still beats, but his brain activity and function has ceased. In the next couple of days, Carlos’ final wish in mortality will be granted as his organs will be donated to those who can use them.
A quick recap: Carlos hadn’t been feeling well over the last couple of weeks. We talked last on Friday and that is when he apparently checked himself into the hospital in his hometown of Fresno because of breathing issues.
It is now believed that he had suffered a major stroke and after entering the hospital quickly deteriorated, although at the time his lung/respiratory issues seemed to be more from COVID or something similar.
On Friday, we were optimistic he could go home in a couple of days and continue his work.
On that day (Friday) we worried because doctors said he had pneumonia and complications from his diabetes; by Saturday, tests indicated he had gone through his stroke. Still, the hopes were that it was minor and he could recover quickly.
Side note from Brentt: my father had suffered through five strokes and he was relatively fine until the last one, a very major stroke, forced him to be bedbound. With strokes, you never know…
Sunday evening I posted a story–Extra Inning Softball’s Carlos Arias in ICU… Softball Community, We Need Your Prayers & Best Wishes!—and the response from you all was beautifully powerful
Current and former players, high school, college and club coaches and even former co-workers blew me away with their heartfelt wishes for our friend.
The AZ Steel organization sent a prayer to Jesus Christ which included, in part, these very appropriate words:
We trust your plan, not our pain. While we don’t know your plan and how long this will take. God, we know what the Bible tells us about your promises to comfort us to a level that we can’t explain. We ask for that.
On Sunday and Monday, our worst fears were realized as tests showed Carlos had little brain activity—in essence, while his body lived on, his conscience, intellect, or mental capacity—whatever you want to call it—had been lost.
Through all the updates, Sue—Carlos’s mother—was a rock in updating his situation but there were times when I lost it. I flew to Southern California on Monday evening and I got a text from her that was a gut punch (you can see her emails to me below).
This was one time I was very grateful to have a mask on, but it didn’t hide the tears welling up in my eyes.
Today, Tuesday, I was busily occupied doing some softball stuff which I’ll report on later—thank goodness, as it kept me busy and my mind distracted… until now.
Now, as I wait on my flight home (it’s now 4 pm PST) it continues to hit me.
I thought I saw someone in the airport who was Carlos. I looked back over past emails and texts and clinch my jaw at how simple and mundane they were at the time and how I wish I could have one more chance to rib Carlos about the Lakers or his horrible clothes fashion and talk about his excitement to get back on the fields this summer covering games.
And greeting his friends: softball coaches, players and their families.
As we got in our rhythm over the last few years with Extra Inning Softball, I texted every article we published to Carlos so he could post on his social media. As you probably know, he was REALLY good with social media.
I had to stop doing that a couple times over the last few days, knowing he will never read them again. And I thank him for all the rankings, Extra Star Powers, player blogs and editions of The Last Inning that he compiled. And the many athletes he honored.
Weird things happen when someone you know dies.
For me over the last two days, I’ve dreaded that his name at the top of my text list would drop lower and lower, like he would be replaced by others demanding my time.
So, to bring his name up to the top of my texts list, I sent him one final text… more so for me in trying to deal with all this:
Carlos, my friend… I love you and will miss our conversations about softball and life in general. I’ve known you for so long I can’t remember when I didn’t know you. Thank you for what you’ve done for softball, all the athletes you’ve honored and how you wrote your rankings, player profiles and social media updates with such passion. You will always be the best game story writer I’ve ever known. Your shoes will never be filled but I hope we can honor you in continuing to cover and celebrate the game you and I love so much… softball.
*****
Carlos’s last communications by writing to me… we talked on Friday and he was enthusiastic about starting the 14U rankings on Monday (May 17):
Thursday, May 13: 10 am (from Carlos to Brentt):
Hey Brentt, I’m going to start checking in with you every morning, so we’re aware of everything. 14U club rankings are looking solid. I’ll be around all night, so you can call me if you want. I know you’ buried. Otherwise I’ll check in tomorrow morning before I get started.
Thursday, May 13: 5 pm (from Carlos to Brentt):
Hey Brentt, 14U club rankings are looking solid. I’ll be around all night, so you can call me if you want. I know you’re buried. Otherwise. I’ll check in tomorrow morning before I get started.
******
Friday mid-day, I would have my final phone conversation with Carlos. He was tired but looking forward to resting over the weekend and getting going on the 14U club rankings on Monday.
I had received his last editorial piece, an edition of The Last Inning on Thursday which I posted on Friday, May 14.
******
The following updates are from Sue Arias, Carlos’s mother to me (Brentt) and cover the updates as we learned the severity of what we were facing…
Sunday, May 16: 10:15 am
Hi Brentt, just a quick update on Carlos. The doctors put him in ICU yesterday and intubated him so he could breathe better. They have kept him sedated to keep him calm. He was tested for COVID,(even though he had the vaccine) and tested negative. They will let me in for 1 hour today so at least I can see him. Car has been really excited to get the vaccine to get back to normal and be able to travel this summer to the tournaments. Thanks for your support it means a lot to us, Sue and Will
Sunday May 16: 2 pm
He truly loves his “softball” people. Yes it is pneumonia complicated by diabetes.
Monday, May 17: 2 pm
First off thank you for sharing the article. It was a wonderful tribute. Carlos was moved to a different hospital that specializes in neuro ICU. They feel Carlos had a stroke and it has affected his brain. They want to open his skull to relieve the pressure. This is not very good news and we are now hoping for a miracle more than ever. I will keep you informed
Monday, May 17: 7 pm
The final assessment today was that the stroke had pretty much wiped out most of his cerebellum and the brain stem. No surgery or medicine will help Car. So final decision is to remove all feeding tubes oxygen and other life support systems in the next few days. We spent time with organ donation team, since Carlos had put it on his license to be a donor. Will, my daughter Angie and I got to spend most of the afternoon with Car. So surreal. It looks like he could just get up.
Tuesday, May 19, 10 am
At a time when you and Car were setting into motion Extra Inning was such a positive time for Carlos. Thank you for giving him hope.
Tuesday, May 19, 2 pm
The doctor said that for all intents and purposes Carlos’ brain function is gone so we’re just setting up the transfer of organ donation and that takes a couple of days. But I’m happy to know that Carlos was thinking of helping others with this donation.
Note: we will offer a tribute to Carlos in the near future. A GoFundMe will be set up to help his family handle the medical costs.
I would ask that you give me a day to collect my thoughts, mourn and process this unexpected situation. I have a strong faith in God and don’t understand the timing, but do have faith in the plan. We will get through this and continue to remember Carlos through our coverage.
Final note: people… Carlos really, REALLY loved you. And in turn you made him very, VERY happy. Thank you for that.
— Brentt