The Mental Edge: Whose Line Is it, Anyway? How to Better Manage What Gets Thrown Your Way!

Extra Inning Softball has partnered with former DI softball coach Julie Jones (Akron, Cleveland State) and current Mental Performance and Mindset Coach to help give athletes, coaches and others in the softball world the “Mental Edge.”

Julie spent 26 years leading Division I softball programs with her mission being simple: to build smarter students, stronger athletes and better people.

Today, she also serves as an Adjunct Professor at Ursuline College teaching well-being and performance, mindset training, athletic coaching and career development courses in both the undergraduate and graduate studies programs.

Continuing her work of helping student-athletes reach their goals on and off the field, Julie regularly sends Mindset Made Simple Tips to players and coaches across the country as well as posting them on her site, SSB Performance.

Today’s “Mindset Made Simple Tips” focuses on our reaction to what someone says or does before us and how we control its impact.

Says Coach Julie:

“The more time we think about what should or shouldn’t have happened, the less time we have to think about what need to do to get the job done…to perform our best…to use our skill and talent.”

Here’s this week’s Mental Edge if you’d prefer to watch it:

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Remember the show “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”

I love Wayne Brady and the cast. How creative, spontaneous and downright funny are those guys?

The ability to quickly think on your feet and respond with something that moves the story forward is a great—and difficult—feat. It would benefit us to apply this skill to our performance whether we perform on a field, court or in a meeting of any kind.

Think about it.

We are always playing off someone else. Someone throws something at you. It is your job to make it better with your contribution so the next guy can take it from there. Or, even more importantly, someone sends something not so great your way and it is STILL your job to make it better with your contribution so the next guy can take it from there!

The problem is our brain doesn’t naturally play “Whose Line is it Anyway?” regardless of whether we were thrown something we can work with or something not as helpful. Either way, our brain looks for reasons the last line was dumb or not enough. Or it looks for reasons that we are dumb or not enough.

Here are some clips form the show where Wayne Brady shows his masterful skills of taking a “line” and making it brilliantly funny:

I have several examples of my own:

Example #1

In one of my recent classes at Ursuline, we were discussing persuasion. I showed a video that talked about the most effective ways to get people to see your side of the story.

The guy in the video made a very valid point about how we respond to information. If we hear stats, our mind automatically looks for exceptions to the rule. For instance, if someone says people who wear seatbelts are less likely to be ejected from a vehicle, our mind instantly searches for evidence that proves that is not always true. We immediately look to dispute it.

Thus, someone tells us something that may be helpful to our performance, our first instinct is to poke holes in it.

Not always helpful!

Example #2

I spent time a few weeks ago working with a group of people who serve in many different capacities at a local recreation center.

We were talking about our mindset and how it affects our interactions with customers. We tried a short-form improvisational exercise. I started with an innocuous statement like “Yesterday I went to the grocery store…” and the others had to take it and run with it. We weren’t three people in before someone threw a negative response into the game.

That was the point. We have a hard time staying with a positive line of anything. We go to the dark side SO easily.

Not always helpful!

Example #3

I was talking with a successful travel softball organization last weekend and asked this question: “If a coach corrects or ‘yells’ at you, does it change your ability to throw or catch?” I asked the question to high school kids, youth-aged athletes and parents alike.

Every time the initial response was, “Yes, it affects the way we play.” My next question was, “Does what someone says or does change your ability to throw or catch?”

Same question, but let’s think about it: Has anything anyone has ever said changed your skill level in the moment? Meaning, do words make you weaker, have less dexterity, balance, eyesight, etc.?

We all know the answer is a resounding NO!

Our skill level does not change based on what someone else says or does (or what we say or do) two seconds ago or what may happen next. Even so, we let the previous line affect our next line.

Not always helpful!

How, then, do we keep our short improv game moving forward?

To help ourselves be our best no matter what someone says or does, it’s time to go to…IT IS WHAT IT IS… NOT WHAT WE THINK IT SHOULD BE!

If the actors took any time at all to think about what they think the guy before them should have said, the bit goes south very quickly and the show sucks!

Same for us.

As I once heard someone say, don’t “should” on yourself!

“He should have said this.” “I should have done that.” “That should have been there.” Or shouldn’t have…

The more time we think about what should or shouldn’t have happened, the less time we have to think about what need to do to get the job done…to perform our best…to use our skill and talent.

THAT DOES NOT CHANGE BECAUSE OF WHAT THE PERSON BEFORE US SAID!

It is what it is. Now what do I need to do?

If we can ask ourselves this question when those inklings of disputing, going to the dark side or playing the blame game sneak up, WE WILL BE BETTER!

So what’s your next line?

Will you go with it and do your best to make it better? Or will you spend the next few minutes allowing yourself to lose your focus and momentum?

It’s up to you!

Final thought: the more we focus on what we cannot control, the more those things control us!

Manage the moments…and your next line!

Julie

To learn more from Julie check out her social media sites below; to contact her personally, she can be reached via email at: [email protected]

SSB Performance:

Website: www.ssbperformance.com
Facebook: /ssbperformance
Twitter: @SSBMindset
Instagram: /ssbperformance

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