Topical Issue: Suicide… It Hits the Softball Community Again; What Can We Do Better?

This is Brentt Eads of Extra Inning Softball…

I am excited for several articles we have coming up on Extra Inning Softball, many celebrating the accomplishments of softball players and coaches on and off the field,… yet I can’t stop thinking of one thing right now.

I learned last night of the death by suicide of a member of our softball community, a young athlete who we once had in the top 150 of one of our Extra Elite rankings series.

In the years I’ve covered softball, there must be more than 15-20 similar stories like these, including four suicides alone this year.

As a parent, my heart aches for this young athlete’s family, who undoubtedly is in shock and disbelief right now. I’ve been touched by this horrible situation several times in my life, having friends and family members who have tried to end their lives. Some did so.

I won’t mention names and circumstances other than one notable exception and will explain why in that case.

My thoughts here are solely my own and I don’t profess to offer expertise in this area, only to say that it has impacted my life too.

Emotional and mental struggles can be—and frequently are—as powerful as physical ones. One of my very best friends when I was growing up in Ohio had two older brothers we idolized, but because of depression and reasons no one can fully understand, both died by suicide.

I was asked several years ago by a highly successful club coach to do a story on one of his players who took her life.

The coach and parents wanted to get the story out, as painful as it was, because of one primary reason: the young athlete who died had four older sisters and, along with the parents, no one knew she was struggling. I was asked to share the story if only to get the lines of communication open between parent and child, coach and player, adults to adults.

Earlier this year, a young athlete took her life in part because of the isolation caused by the COVID-19 pandemic.

To her mother’s credit, she shared the story because she wanted others to be aware of the stress young athletes can feel. You can read the story below.

Sometimes the emotional struggles come because of external factors; we’ve seen a huge uprising in bullying and cyberbullying over the last 10 years (Click HERE to read our story on this). As many as 37% of adolescents are teased or bullied through today’s technology.

Often, however, the issues are internal—perhaps caused by issues such as depression, anxiety, and other things that can helped with counseling and/or treatments, including medication.

From my perspective, the common factors in the suicides I’ve covered are a sense of hopelessness and a lack of communication regarding the pain that exists within the struggling person.

To those who are considering doing something that’s drastic, please realize that there is always reason for hope and that there is always someone to talk to and share your thoughts, your worries, your pain.

I promise there are others who want to support you when life looks hopeless. The sun always rises and every problem will eventually be overcome.

I asked Coach Bill Conroy of the Beverly Bandits his thoughts on this subject as he had told me of losing someone close to him earlier this year: “This (suicide) happened and I didn’t know anything about the inner turmoil this person was going through.”

Bill has produced the highly-successful Empowering Girls for Life convention the last three years and his goal is to promote the well-being of the young female athlete.

“The subject of mental and emotional wellness and well-being should be important to everyone,” the national championship-winning coach believes. “It’s about self-esteem and communication, which, first and foremost, is the key.”

Conroy further explains that “ things that worked in previous generations have changed. Today, there is the mental stress and anguish that players and coaches are going through which is harder to witness and diagnose.”

“We have to keep in mind,” Bill continues, “that when we’re talking to players, coaches and other people, some are more sensitive and show emotions more than others and some hide them more. Some need a kick in the butt to get going while others may take that same kick and fall down crying. One thing is for sure–we all need positive reinforcement.”

Speaking of that positive reinforcement, the free content of the Empowering Girls for Life stream is available for three more days (until Oct. 17). Click HERE to access the registration link.

Finally, if you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm—or know someone who is— please share this info:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.

Learn more

800-273-8255

If you have any further thoughts, stories or insights… please email me at [email protected].

*****

The Suicide of Jo Smith Leads to Her Mom’s Goal of Opening Better Parent/Child Communication

Three weeks ago today, I published the heart-wrenching story of the death of talented athlete Jo Smith who died by suicide after struggling with the stress and isolation caused by the COVID-19 pandemic.

Here is the link to that story: Softball News: 2022 Catcher Jo’Vianni “Jo” Smith Passed Away Friday from Stress Issues Related to COVID-19

You’ll notice that her taking her life isn’t mentioned in the article at that time. It had just happened and we wanted to be sensitive to the situation at that time, although we did have the permission of Jo’s mother, Danielle Hunt, to mention that she died by suicide.

The mother’s intent was admirable and commendable, especially when you know Danielle had to be in amazing pain: she wanted to prevent other tragedies like this from happening.

A GoFundMe Page was set up and initially the goal was to reach $10,000 to cover memorial expenses. That total was quickly reached and the number was raised to $18,000 with the goal being to use any additional memorial funds to set up a scholarship in Jo’s memory.

Click HERE to go to the GoFundMe page for Jo Smith

I have received dozens of comments via phone, text and email of parents and players expressing empathy for Danielle, Jo and all those who knew and loved her in her Bear Creek, California community.

If there has been some good come from this, it’s that many parents have told me they’ve sat down with their kids and openly talked about emotions, fears, concerns and honest dialog.

Wrote one parent: “Suicide is tragic under any circumstance but to lose a normally happy and healthy child to something so irrational is that much harder. It is her Mom (Danielle’s) goal to bring awareness to it now and I commend her for allowing us to speak freely about it from here forward.”

Perfectly said and I hope that all of us will learn from this as much as possible, to better ensure the health and safety of our children, who may be suffering and we not know it.

That was what Danielle has wanted and why she opened up about this as you’ll see in this Stockton, California KCRA3 news report below which has Danielle sharing her thoughts about how this “could happen to anybody’s kid.”

Click HERE to watch the video and read the news article

— Brentt Eads, Extra Inning Softball