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We learned last night that a talented player in one of the top club programs in the country, a seemingly happy and vibrant person who appeared to have a bright future on and off the playing fields as she had signed to play college softball, has reportedly died by suicide.
Someone close to the program reached out and told us:
“We are devastated here, she was a great kid… no one knew she was struggling.”
Just three weeks ago, we published a powerful piece by former college and pro star Jessi Warren as she detailed her own struggles with depression and anxiety and how that’s impacted her life.
We re-run this article if only to remind us that young people, too, are struggling with the pressures of the world and oftentimes need care and support, in whatever form that may be.
May be open up our eyes–and our hearts–and be more aware of those who are struggling and do whatever is in our power to prevent these terrible tragedies from continuing. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all involved in this specific incidence and to all those troubled to the point of considering this path.
Here is the number for The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255); more information is available at the bottom of Jessi’s article…
— Brentt Eads, Extra Inning Softball
This May Be the Most Important Article You’ll Read All Week: Jessi Warren on Mental Health Awareness for Student-Athletes
Originally published March 9, 2022, on Extra Inning Softball
Jessi Warren has quite the softball resume: All-American third baseman for the National Championship-winning Florida State Seminoles (2018) and a professional player with the USSSA Pride and in Athletes Unlimited.
But as great as her athletic successes have been between the lines, she is candid that she had her struggles off the field too:
“I have dealt with depression and anxiety due to the pressure of life and athletics in the past,” she admits. “I still deal with anxiety to this day and I hope talking about this may help someone… it may make someone feel heard and seen.”
Just this week, we saw once again that this is an ongoing tragedy as 22-year-old Stanford soccer goalie Katie Meyer was confirmed by her parents to have died from suicide.
May we all be sensitive to this with those around us; here are Jessi’s poignant thoughts on this very important topic…
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After seeing/hearing about so many deaths by suicide, I wanted to touch on a subject that I take very seriously: mental health.
A crucial question we need to ask ourselves in the sports world is this one: “Why is mental health not being taken as seriously as that of the physical health of an athlete?”
Stats show that 1 in 5 people in the world are living with a mental health condition at some point in their lives and to narrow down even more, 1 in 3 athletes suffer from a mental health condition.
That is about 35% of the athletic population.
People handle pressure and its symptoms with therapy, medication, meditation and exercising and those are helpful. Having been a student-athlete, I know first-hand how we certainly have all kinds of pressure on us—pressure to perform in games, in the classroom, in our daily lives, etc.
Being a student-athlete at the college level carries with it the expectation of maintaining good grades on top of going to practice and succeeding in competitions.
On the physical side, when athletes get hurt—such as pulling a hamstring, spraining an ankle, fracturing a wrist or whatever it is that forces one to the sidelines—that athlete receives time to heal.
We can often see the impacts of the physical injury, having an understanding of what it is and why that specific athlete is taking time to recover.
But what happens when those injuries aren’t visible? When they’re not physical but more mental and/or emotional-based?
When are people going to start allowing athletes to step away to take care of their health on the inside… when it’s not just a physical injury?
I think an athlete’s mental and emotional health is ignored too often, simply because can’t see or evaluate these mental injuries from machines as easily like we can a broken bone or a pulled muscle.
Depression and anxiety are REAL and can be life-impacting, even life threatening… and something needs to change.
I can be speaking for many athletes, or I can be speaking for myself, but as an athlete we carry a persona in the public eye.
The public oftentimes sees us and thinks we can power through anything and that we are able to push through obstacles most can’t because we are built different. Our successful accomplishments on the field of competition are praised and celebrated and we can be assumed to be accomplished because we’re “Superhuman.”
No! That needs to stop! We athletes are HUMAN… we are PEOPLE first and foremost.
Just because we can be fearless warriors–strong, and unstoppable in the public’s eyes–does not mean we are immune to stress and the real-life problems we may deal with outside our sport.
From personal experience, I know asking for help from people can be hard.
I suffer from a GAD (general anxiety disorder) as well as a panic disorder and ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder).
People think just because we are athletes and carry this demeanor of “toughness” around, we should be able to get through whatever it is we are dealing with or thrown at us and that we don’t really need help from people.
Being an athlete, trying to balance school requirements, family and friend relationships and the workload needed to excel in your sport, brings with it a lot of stress. Most may not know to what levels, but we DO deal with more than the public knows.
Many of us athletes hold ourselves to our own high standards and when we don’t feel like we’ve been successful or are satisfied with the goals we set for ourselves, we tend to overthink, to stress and to put added pressure on ourselves.
The physical, athletic performance then can be affected by the athlete’s mental and emotional health as the mind becomes focused on other things, confidence decreases and then the pressure to perform and “prove” to people you don’t “suck” increases.
People who are on the outside looking in, who don’t experience an athlete’s individual personal daily life, can’t understand it. Again, they think it’s as simple as just figuring it out on our own, but sometimes that’s not enough and the outside world lacks awareness of what is really going on.
Sadly—and sometimes tragically in the competitive sports world of today–it can be that when an athlete takes the time to focus on his or her mental health, they are considered not dedicated, weak or a quitter.
People are always saying to us as athletes “prioritize your mental health,” “do this” or “do that,” but then, too often, they don’t have our backs and provide the support needed. When we may take that crucial time to heal, we can be criticized and it gives mixed signals.
I feel the key to fixing this is to allow athletes to be vulnerable without judgment. We must open conversations to acknowledge the feelings that are happening inside an athlete’s head.
I admit that I do struggle daily with my mental health. I talk to a therapist and am still trying to figure ME out, trying to understand why my brain works the way it does, and— although that may make me different in some ways—trying to accept that and know that THAT’S OK!
It’s OK if I wake up some mornings feeling sad; it’s okay if I wake up some mornings overly excited about nothing in particular.
People may never understand how MY brain works, but that’s OK!
Just remember that, when it comes to helping others, a little gesture can go a long way.
To all the parents with kids who are becoming athletes or are already in athletics, take a step back from yelling at them after a bad game (sorry to break it to you, but those tough games do happen, and they will happen a lot in the athletic career).
Here are several things I recommend parents due to help their athletes:
- Encourage your child to talk to you,
- Give them a safe space to be open with you, with no judgment while you have an open mind and a listening ear,
- Try to focus on understanding them and where they are coming from or what they are feeling,
- Allow them to have a voice and make sure they feel that you care and that they are being heard.
That’s something I lacked as a child: I never felt that I had a safe place, to be open and talk about things. I wasn’t close with my father, and I was never open with my mother and, to this day, I am still learning how to navigate a lot…
… but the difference is that I now have that safe space, where I can be open and be me. I have friends who will drop what they’re doing and come have lunch with me or talk to me.
Be that person for someone!
If you’re wondering what you can do to help or how to get help, here is a list of things I believe are important to do for your mental health:
- Talk about your feelings
- It can help deal with times when you feel troubled
- Stay active
- Exercising can boost your self-esteem and increase dopamine and endorphins.
- Eat well
- Our brains need a good mix of nutrients to stay functioning just like our organs.
- Keep in touch
- Call people, write them a letter…keep lines of communication open, spread love.
- Take a break
- A change of scenery is always good for you, give yourself some ‘me-time’.
- Accept who you are
- We are all different, and it’s so much healthier to accept who you are then to try and wish yourself into someone you’ll never be.
- ASK FOR HELP:
- Nobody in this world is a superhuman. We have feelings and all feel tired or overwhelmed by how we are feelings. If things become too much, ask for help. Friends and family may be able to offer help and if not, there are local services around everyone that would love to help.
Remember too these five very important truths:
- YOU ARE ENOUGH.
- YOU ARE LOVED.
- YOU ARE WORTHY.
- YOU ARE DESERVING OF LIFE.
- YOU MATTER!!!
— Jessi Warren, Extra Inning Softball
If you or someone you know is in crisis call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at: 1-800-273-8255, or text ‘HELLO’ to 741741. Both services are free and available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. All calls are confidential.
Or go to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website by clicking here.