“I Am, I Play”… Why These 4 Words—& This Movement—Is So Important for Softball (& Female Sports) Right Now
By
@BruntjensElla
March 14, 2024
Players, and even entire teams like the Tennessee Mojo – Lewis squad pictured here, is promoting the movement
This is Brentt Eads of Extra Inning Softball.
As softball continues to grow internally and externally—more TV viewers, more interest in international, college, club, high school, youth—there’s a negative side too.
I’ve seen it up close and, perhaps, as we shine the line on these wonderful athletes and this awesome sport, I have to stop sometimes and ask myself, as the sign in my Dad’s basement office asked: “Am I Part of the Solution, Or Am I Part of the Problem?”
The problem, as it’s being addressed here, is the emotional health of our softball players.
I like to think that our focus on covering softball is to bring recognition and appreciation to the athletes, the coaches, the game, but I’ve seen that as the sport gets bigger with more ESPN games, Fox broadcast, live-streaming at all ages and division, that softball is also growing in the stressful mentality of win NOW, perform NOW, get it done NOW… or you’re benched as a player, perhaps even cut, and, if a coach, you’re sent packing if the results don’t come sooner than later.
Katie Meyer, the National Championship-winning goalie for Stanford, died by suicide according to her parents. Photo-Stanford Athletics.
Higher ratings, more visibility and increased money equals higher expectations and tighter windows of time to win… and more pressure, including that which is self-imposed and self-induced, can lead to tragic, even lethal, consequences.
In March, Stanford goalie Katie Meyer, who won a National Championship for the Cardinal, died by suicide and, around the same time, a club softball player took her life (we chose to not go into the details and specifics).
Then, in late April, the softball world was further stunned when James Madison University catcher Lauren Bernett died by what was eventually ruled as a suicide and, shortly after, the Dukes cancelled the rest of their softball season.
Within the span of a few weeks, five college athletes had died this way.
Extra Inning Softball correspondent Jessi Warren shared the stat that about 35% of the athletic population suffers from a mental health condition. She admitted that she suffers from a general anxiety disorder as well as a panic disorder and ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder).
In a sincere and powerful statement, Jessi wrote in an Inside Pitch article that: “In my battles with anxiety & depression, there was a point when I no longer wanted to be here.”
The former Florida State national champion third baseman added:
“I have dealt with depression and anxiety and wanting to take my life due to the pressure of life and athletics in the past. I still deal with anxiety to this day and I hope talking about this may help someone… it may make someone feel heard and seen.”
Powerful stuff, and praise to Jessi, who’s won at the highest levels of the game, for being so forthright in sharing her past struggles.
“What can we do to help?” I’ve often wondered. “How can we help turn this tide that is impacting so many?
*****
Ambassador Abbey Smith
About a week ago (July 10th to be exact), I received an email from current Auburn outfielder Abbey Smith, a former Extra Elite 100 outfielder (Top 40 in the 2021 class) from Texas who was also a High School All-American.
I’ve long covered the speedster who also ran track at a high level and I admired her athletic abilities but also her maturity off the field.
Abbey Smith is one of the 19 ambassadors for the “I Am, I Play” movement.
Thus, I dropped everything I was doing the moment I saw Abbey’s text, sent unsolicited, regarding a strong message to her generation of athletes… here’s what she wrote:
“This past year the athletic community was rocked. We lost athletes due to an unknown burden that was weighing them down. Lex Hull-Muncher started a movement stating: “Stats Do Not Define Me!”
“As an ambassador, I want to help spread the word that athletic performance does not define your worth! From young girls or boys starting their sports to men and women playing at the highest level, mental health can be an issue.”
“We need to spread the word: athletes, make your mental health a priority. Talk about what is going on in your life! Whether it is academic, social, athletic demands or expectations placed on you by family, friends, coaches, teammates, society- tell someone. Keep talking until someone listens. You are not alone.”
“Athletes listen to your teammates. Pay attention if a teammate seems a little “off.” Encourage them to talk. Know possible signs that someone might need a mental health check which include: sleeplessness, change in eating, moodiness, lack of energy. Don’t dismiss or belittle their concerns.”
“College athletics needs to make mental health a priority and have readily available mental health support. Mental health support needs to be easily accessible to college athletes. University teams should create peer to peer mental health support groups among athletic teams and provide time for check ins. “As a college athlete we need to do more than just wear a ribbon in our hair on game day. We need to take responsibility to help each other every day. Together we can change the stigma of mental health.”
Having long known Abbey, I was impressed and also intrigued, writing her back to tell me more about this “movement.”
She responded:
“As a college athlete, the deaths of several college athletes hit close to home. There is an overwhelming amount of pressure on and off the field to perform. Balancing a full college course load with practice and workouts is difficult and stressful.”
“In addition, you spend an enormous amount of time with a team of girls that are all competing for a few active spots on the team and it can create a toxic environment. My first year adjusting to the expectations was stressful and I can understand how, in the moment, an athlete could let themselves be overtaken by events around them.”
The I Am, I Play movement began after the tragic death of Lauren Bernett in the spring.
“The movement started after softball player Lauren Bernett from James Madison died in April. My Auburn softball team wore blue and purple ribbons during the first game of the Georgia series in honor of mental health awareness.”
“Shortly after this Lex contacted former members of Tennessee Mojo 202—she was the assistant coach on Tennessee Mojo 2021 which I played on—to serve as ambassadors and help spread the word. Lex said she was starting a project.”
“During the summer we each received a shirt to wear to spread the word and to be confident that we were more than just the game. Lex asked us to be ambassadors for the message and share via our social media accounts.”
And “What was the message,” I asked? “What was this movement?” “And what were these ‘ambassadors’ taking to social media to share?”
The answer was sent to me by photo: two strong statements on t-shirts printed in white lettering on the black cotton contrasting shirts:
I Am, I Play
and
My Athletic Performance Does Not Define My Worth
*****
Turning “Our Mess into a Message”
Lex Hull-Muncher, founder of the movement, wearing one of the shirts that says My athletic performance does not define my worth.”
Intrigued, I asked for more and Abbey responded to my question asking what the goal of this program was established for:
“’I Am, I Play’” was founded with one goal in mind: providing a platform for student-athletes to have a voice on mental health awareness. Mental health is currently one of the most spoken about topics but least addressed.”
“Together we can turn our mess into a message that can inspire others. We are no longer allowing our Mental Health to be labeled as a weakness. We deserve better and it will start by us coming together.”
Whoa. Turning “our mess into a message” to inspire? And what did this mean by “us coming together?” I wondered.
I soon found out that 19 prominent athletes have already signed on to be ambassadors and representatives who were “also part of the support group that can be assigned at any time an individual or group to mentor and share their truth.”
Of the early reps who agreed to be part of the movement, 13 of them had played for the Mojo – Cherry travel ball team that was led by Brooks Cherry and of which Lex Hull-Mucher was an assistant recently.
Impressive, I thought, that more than a dozen former players must have liked and trusted their former coach to become part of this positive marketing campaign for mental health.
Riley Hull, sophomore, infield/catcher, Mississippi State (Lex’s sister)
Emerson Aiken, sophomore, pitcher, Michigan
Lauren Derkowski, sophomore, pitcher, Michigan
Kendra Falby, sophomore, outfielder, Florida
Megan Hagge, sophomore, pitcher, Dartmouth
Pro baseball player Andy Hammond is an ambassador.
And it wasn’t just former Mojo players who believed in the message and wanted to share it; five others, including one baseball player, took it upon themselves to be ambassadors for “I Am, I Play:
Andy Hammond, pro baseball player with New York Boulders in Frontier League
Torey Hawkins, Centre College (softball) & high school/travel ball coach in Kentucky
Shelby Shanks, Wallace State alum (softball), Kentucky high school coach
Not a bad starting line-up, I mused… a talented team of individuals, no matter what they were asked (or wanted) to share with others.
The next step, naturally, was to speak to the founder of “I Am, I Play.”
*****
Taking the Message to the Masses… the Movement of Lex Hull-Muncher
Before I had a chance to reach out to Lex, I dug into her background and realized that I had covered her many moons ago at a different stage in our softball lives.
Megan Hagge, a sophomore pitcher at Dartmouth, has been proactive in promoting “I Am, I Play” on social media (see below):
A former travel ball player in the Louisville Lady Sluggers – Dobina 18U Gold team and then with the Fury 97 squad, Lex would go on to play at South Carolina from 2015 to 2017 and then transferred to Jacksonville State University where she would finish her career from 2017 to 2019.
She graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Sports Management before going on to complete her Masters in Sport Management in 2021. It was also a big year as she got married in June of last year.
Today, she’s a high school teacher and coach at White Plains High School in Anniston, Alabama, and also is a hitting and catching instructor based out of Oxford, Alabama as well as being the owner of LH Catching, for which she travels the nation doing catching clinics.
Before I could call or email, the proactive Lex excitedly reached out to me and her enthusiasm was obvious from the start in our phone conversations and back-and-forths in texts and emails.
“This movement just took off and got off the ground last month,” she began. “I Am, I Play is a movement that supports athletes to speak up and share their truth. The shirts are meant to be worn by athletes who stand by this message and are willing to start a conversation! We as athletes and coaches have the power to change this stigma about mental health.”
Who, I asked, is joining this movement to help get the word out?
“’I Am, I Play’” is a growing community of athletes, parents, and whoever wants to be a voice for this movement,” Lex responded. “The movement of helping others learn their worth inside and outside of the game they play. We are a group that gives support and supplies a safe place for those that need someone ‘I Am, I Play’ strives to help others be heard, to feel important, and push those to speak their truth.”
And then Lex added a strong caveat to what the “I Am, I Play” movement is… and isn’t.
“Our message and our platform isn’t professional help for those who need it,” she stated. “We do not diagnose those that feel ‘mentally sick.’ We do NOT try to be a doctor and we do NOT push athletes to speak publicly about their truth. We are simply a support system that acknowledges athletes who are struggling, feel broken and are seeking help.
What the platform is right now, Lexi made clear, is a two-part approach:
And two, for those who support the cause and want to share it with others, there’s a store where the shirt can be bought for $21.99 plus tax to present the emboldening statements as a testimony to those who observe them.
Every purchase of a “My Athletic Performance Does Not Define My Worth” shirt helps “fund and grow the movement in ways of building our team, our resources, and future projects,” Lex says.
Lex says her struggles during her playing days has led her to be active in promoting mental health issues.
The longtime player and coach powerfully preaches that the foundation of “I Am, I Play,” is her story, yes, but now it’s more today based on her testimony and mission to help young athletes who may suffer from what she faced in her playing days.
“Throughout my whole softball career—from little league to playing at the highest levels—I was never truly taught or even discussed how to mentally take care of myself,” she begins.
“God gave me a gift with the ability to play the game of softball and to be pretty good at what I did. I truly had no idea what ‘mental health’ even was until I stepped foot in college. I failed more than I ever did up to that point in my career.”
“I was talked to in ways that I did not know how to respond, I was expected to perform at my best at ALL times (on the field and in the classroom), I went through life-altering challenges outside of the white lines that I did not speak of as I did not want to be a burden on anyone, I was out to fend for myself every day as I lived seven hours from home and I did not know how to have balance.”
“I struggled… I mean, I really struggled and never felt so alone although I was surrounded by so many people. I never felt so vulnerable. I was 18 years old and lost because I did not know my worth outside of the game. I had no idea who I was if I was not a softball player. I was scared and I lost my faith. I did not know how to get help and was afraid of what others would say about me.”
“But by the grace of God, I found change, I finished my career with my faith being the strongest it has ever been and a voice ready to speak. Fast forward, three years later… I was lying in bed, wide awake and having the best conversations with God one day around 3:00 am in the morning. God placed this on my heart to be a voice and use my mess as my message.”
Michigan pitcher Lauren Derkowski.
Lex concludes with a bright hope and the enthusiasm that real change can be made to help others who are in the same life-threating situation she was in when she played.
“The key is having the power to start a conversation between parent and kid, coach and player, and the best one, I feel: player to player. There are so many that will say “Me too!” which will spark them to feel free to share their own truth.”
“Awareness is the first step to change. I know we together can at least move one girl to use their mess as their message. It only takes one match to start a wildfire.”
And, to drive home her point, Lexi gives me a quote from one of her ambassadors, current Michigan pitcher Lauren Derkowski.
“Being an athlete will always be something that I will associate with,” the college sophomore says. “However, it does not define me, my worth, or who I am. It is so important to understand that mental health needs to be talked about and acknowledged—no matter who you are, athlete or not, especially in today’s world.”
— Brentt Eads, Extra Inning Softball
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