Rounding the Bases with Northwestern State Assistant Coach Mary Stephens

Rounding the Bases checks in with first-year assistant coaches at new programs and shines a spotlight on their coaching styles and perspectives. Some may be rookies in the coaching world, while others may be seasoned veterans who have simply moved to a new locale.

Check out previous articles in this spotlight series:

• Samantha Santillo, Robert Morris
• Rachel Huggins, Eastern Illinois
• Brad Posner, Bucknell
• Campbell Hutcherson, George Mason
• Courtney Vierstra, Miami

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A career slugger with more than 100 RBIs during her playing career at Missouri State, Mary Stephens spent the last several seasons on staff at multiple schools. After serving as a graduate assistant on the support staff at Texas Tech, she volunteered for the Red Raiders and went on to hold similar positions at both Sam Houston State and Wichita State. She was on the Shockers’ coaching staff for the 2022 season.

In addition to her collegiate coaching experience, Stephens also coached travel ball as part of the Texas Glory organization. This summer, she took her first full-time coaching position, joining the staff at Northwestern State as an assistant working with the offense.

Extra Inning Softball: When did you know that you wanted to pursue coaching as your career path?
Mary Stephens: Truthfully, since I was around 10 years old. I had a travel ball coach, Mike Hart, that had such a great impact on me as a player and person. He really taught us the value of being a teammate and needing all the parts to function as a team. It’s truly where I fell in love with helping others grow. Ever since then, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I got older. When I was finishing up 16u ball, my coach, Ed Naudin’s, final speech about me was “well Mar (that was my nickname), I can’t wait until you’re back out here coaching with me.” We all laughed because I thought he was joking; lo and behold I was out there about five years later helping him coach his 16u programs. I was very fortunate to have VERY impactful coaches all throughout my playing career. I think for these reasons I just really fell in love with coaching.

Extra Inning Softball: Describe your coaching style. What do you feel are your biggest strengths as a coach?
Mary Stephens: I’m big on relationship over task. I feel like you must connect with the athletes on a personal level before asking them to just go do things. I’m not the biggest people person, but I have realized that many kids these days just want to know you’re there to support them. Although it’s a lot different than when I was a kid, it’s just the way things are, so I’ve learned to adapt and open up to the athletes.

I’m not big on hyping myself up, but based on feedback from parents along the way, I would say I’m pretty good at making the athletes feel loved and validated. I try to keep things light as I know being a former athlete, it’s tough out there. You’re mean to yourself as an athlete, plus you have your parents on you about everything that I just try to keep things light. If I need to put my foot down and be serious, I’ll be first in line to do that, but most of the time the kids need to realize it’s not the end of the world for making one mistake. It’s only the end of the world if you don’t try to correct your mistakes.

Extra Inning Softball: Tell me what you gleaned from your time as volunteer assistant at Wichita State. What were the biggest positives that you took from that experience that will serve you now as a full-time coach?
Mary Stephens: Truthfully, I gained confidence. They run things so smoothly there at Wichita that I was able to come in and be a sponge. I’ve been to a few other schools and other routes, but I just needed the confidence to really take the next step. I’ll never forget standing there at the first practice I attended, and hearing Kristi [Bredbenner] and Elizabeth [Economon] say the exact same things I say to my athletes during the summers. It clicked for me. I just finally felt like what I believed in can work.

There were an unmeasurable amount of positives that I took from Wichita, but also from being at Texas Tech and Sam Houston State prior. I mean, everywhere you go you can learn and take things away. The drills, the structure, the discipline. Everywhere I went, one thing remained the same and that’s how you treat those athletes who show up and work for you every day is a make or break for you. It doesn’t matter if you’re feeding them the best information in the world, at the end of the day, they are the ones going out there and performing. You have to find the fine line of pushing them but supporting them at the same time.

Extra Inning Softball: What drew you to the NSU position and made it attractive to you?
Mary Stephens: The biggest thing for me was that I knew exactly who I would be working for under Pickett. I have known him since I was about 16 and have stayed in touch with him throughout the years. I knew that he wanted to work hard and would be willing to allow me to grow as a coach. Throughout my years of coaching at different programs, I knew once the time came to pick a full-time spot that I wanted to go somewhere where I would mesh with the person in charge. Since I knew Pickett prior, I knew that picking NSU would be exactly where I wanted to make my start.

Extra Inning Softball: From a recruiting perspective, having previously coached at the travel ball level, how big of a benefit for you is that familiarity with the recruiting scene?
Mary Stephens: This has been huge for me the last few months. I coached a highly-competitive 16u program, so traveling around with them and knowing most of the DFW/Houston teams has really helped me in finding players for these upcoming years. I don’t know if it’ll make a difference on them actually committing to us, but I at least know a good amount of travel coaches and they’ve been very willing to help me find the kids on the team that fit our style.

Extra Inning Softball: The last couple of years have not been easy for anyone in the coaching world… how have the challenges of the mid-pandemic times affected and influenced you and how you do what you do as a coach?
Mary Stephens: Oh man, COVID truly de-railed all of my plans – well, what I thought were my plans for life. I was at Sam Houston State at the time and we actually – funny story – just left NSU and ULL when everything got shut down. My time at Sam Houston State was very special to me as it helped me find a love for my job again. Coach Valis did a great job of making me feel included and valid, which helped me feel confident again. Unfortunately, with us not being able to do camps at the time and didn’t know if we would in the future, we both decided that it would be best for me to find a different avenue. I actually went to teach high school and coach at a high school. I learned very quickly that high school teaching/coaching was definitely not the avenue for me. (Mostly the teaching part)

I knew at the end of the day that there’s a plan for me out there, so I trusted and leaned in and although I didn’t love teaching, I learned SO MUCH about myself as a coach and person and I met some of the BEST kids that touched my heart as a human.

All in all, COVID time period really helped me slow down and grow. It caused me to look internally at myself and allowed me to almost gather my thoughts on how I was going to move forward. Without that time, I don’t think I would be where I’m at today.

Extra Inning Softball: Let’s say we’re having this conversation one year from now, once you have a full season at NSU under your belt. What needs to have happened during that season for you to be able to say, ‘this was a successful year’?
Mary Stephens: Oh boy, this is a tough answer. I always say the numbers never lie… which means I am looking for us to improve our numbers all across the board, offensively. The best part of my job so far is that these kids are so hungry for improvement. They spent many games last season right on the cusps of wins that they are hungry for more. At the end of the year, I want them to look back and be proud of where they are standing.