Extra Inning Softball correspondent Jessica Warren was a college All-American at Florida State and, in 2018, the third baseman helped the Seminoles win the NCAA D1 National Championship. After college, Jessi was a professional player with the USSSA Pride and competed in Athletes Unlimited.
Click HERE to read about Jessi’s thoughts about the Noles magical run five years ago…
Today, one of roles is serving as a club coach and she, like most of us, are busy traveling the country to attend key tournaments, showcases and camps, often with college coaches watching prospective student-athletes.
Jessi explains:
“Over the years of watching and now coaching travel ball for almost a year, there are several common things… mistakes… that I see in the travel ball world that players and parents are doing wrong and have detailed them below. The first three are for the athletes.. the last two for the parents!”
I*****
1. Poor Body Language
Let’s just get straight to it, CUT IT OUT.
Nobody cares that your just struck out looking for the third time in a row… what do people care about then? How well you respond to those strikeouts, how well you’re treating your teammates after those strikeouts, are you relaying information to the next hitter after those strikeouts… That’s what really matters!
Athletes are so caught up in the outcome of the game, instead of the development of their game, as time progresses. Sorry to break it to you, Susie, but you’re going to strike out 100 more times in your career; it’s inevitable, so get over it and figure out how to relay information so that your teammates aren’t striking out as well.
When you’re being recruited, coaches know you’re going to fail A LOT. They already are aware of the talent you have if they are watching you play; now they are making themselves aware of how you handle failure.
How do you respond?
Are you the one who’s going to put your head down and walk by every teammate and not acknowledge them or are you going to inform the next hitter what sequence you saw, or if the pitcher is tipping off certain pitches… which leads to my next point.
2. Being Selfish
If I were a college coach, this is the biggest “X” across your name if I see it.
This is the one thing as an athlete, and now a travel ball coach, I can’t stand to see. People tend to be selfish because they are under the misconception that they could benefit themselves in any situation, when in the case of softball, it’s a TEAM sport and there is no room for a selfish person.
Being selfish is detrimental to your teammates. It shows all you care about is you, when in most cases you should be caring about your teammates and the girls standing to your left and right more and more about their successes that it makes you so joyful that you start to see your successes rise.
I like to say, when you start becoming internal, i.e. it’s all about you and what’s going on in your head; then start becoming external, meaning diving into your teammates and being into what they are doing and how you can help them.
3. Throwing Equipment
Just, why? What’s the point?
Because you don’t pay for it, its okay to damage it?
Parents are paying too much money for you to be chucking your equipment because you just popped up. This just goes back to body language and selfishness. There is no room for it, and to be honest no coaches like to see that.
It’s unnecessary and dangerous.
Find something that works for you that allows you to take your 30-45 seconds to reflect on your failure (that doesn’t involve throwing equipment) and use that mechanism instead.
For example, when I’m boiling over and super frustrated, I hold me composure until I get out of sight of my teammates and fans. I go to the end of a dugout, grab a cardboard cup, and head to the bathroom. I’ll crush the cup with my hands and the second I throw that cup away, it’s in the rear-view mirror.
You notice how I didn’t say in the past?
Think about a rear-view mirror. What are they for? To reflect and show what’s behind you. But what is still your main focus? What’s in front of you, right? So, keep it in your rear-view mirror, reflect on it occasionally so you can grow as an athlete/human, and cut the equipment throwing out.
4. Complainers
This goes for the athlete and the parents…
Please. Stop. Complaining. About. Playing. Time!
As a coach, we see things you may not see. We see the development of the athletes as we are working with them. We know when an athlete—regardless of if they are more talented or not—deserves to play. Sometimes, to be honest, it’s not really about who is more talented… sometimes its simply because Susie is on fire and hitting better then Barbra and defensively making plays Barbra isn’t making.
Instead of complaining, take your daughter and work harder than Susie. Susie deserves that spot right now, not Barb. How is Barb going to respond?
I think at the end of the day, you as the athlete and the parent must ask yourself, have I been doing everything I can outside of games and practice to get better? Have I been working on my own, or am I just showing up to practices and games and expecting to play?
Just be left with this: there is ALWAYS someone trying to outwork you… will you let them?
5. Parents carrying daughter equipment bag
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
I honestly don’t care if your daughter just played four games and was the ball field for eight hours. Why are you carrying her bag? Your daughter should be carrying her own bag as she is learning about responsibility, independence and self-regulation.
Unless she is severely injured and unable to physical carry her 10-pound bag, don’t do it—tt looks so bad.
Coaches aren’t just recruiting the kids at the games, they are also looking at the parents, recruiting the moms and dads as well to see if they are passing the recruiting checklist and, I guarantee you, many players may have been passed up at one point because of the parents and because of them doing things like carrying their 16-year-olds bag.
I’VE PERSONALLY SEEN IT!
Parents: don’t bend to your child’s whim and carry her bag for her. Show that you trust her and give her the responsibility to look after her own bag by carrying it herself and taking care of it herself.
Give your child the chance to be a responsible and independent individual!
— Jessi Warren, correspondent for Extra Inning Softball
Send any thoughts, questions or story ideas to: info@extrainningsoftball.com
