Why Understanding “It’s Not About You” Unlocks Joy in Life

Why Understanding “It’s Not About You” Unlocks Joy in Softball and Life

Softball is more than just a sport; it’s a journey of lessons, growth, and joy. But for many players, the pressure to perform, the fear of failure, and the weight of expectations can strip away the love for the game. I’ve been there. It took me years to understand one simple truth that changed everything: once you figure out that it’s not about you, the better off you’ll be.

Playing for a Bigger Purpose

For much of my career, I played softball because I genuinely loved the game. However, the joy I found in it deepened when I stopped making it about myself. I learned to shift my mindset—away from personal achievements and toward playing with a greater purpose. My faith played a huge role in this transformation.

I leaned on 1 Corinthians 10:31, which reminds us, “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” My coach at ULM instilled this mindset in me, teaching me to focus on glorifying God in everything I do. This lesson has become a cornerstone of my life, and I continue to use it daily. When I practiced and played with this perspective, my outlook changed. I stopped sulking in failures or blaming myself for losses because those emotions made it about me. Instead, I worked hard, gave my best effort, and left the outcome in God’s hands. Trusting Him brought me peace, knowing He had already written the story.

It’s About the People Beside You

One of the most freeing realizations in softball is that your success isn’t measured by stats or records. Home runs, strikeouts, and accolades fade from memory, but your character and how you treat others endure. Your teammates won’t remember your numbers, but they will remember how you made them feel and the energy you brought to the field.

Playing the game with a focus on the person to your right and left brings a new level of joy. When you prioritize being a great teammate and playing for something bigger than yourself, you unlock a deeper sense of purpose. This perspective reminds you to trust your coaches, lean on your teammates, and embrace the highs and lows together.

Finding Your “Why”

Softball is a demanding sport, both physically and mentally. College softball, in particular, is grueling. The practices, games, and travel take a toll, and it’s easy to lose sight of why you started. That’s why it’s essential to find your “why.”

Your “why” is the reason you show up every day, pushing through pain and fatigue. It might be your love for the game, the camaraderie of your team, or the desire to honor God through your effort. Whatever your “why” is, remind yourself of it daily. It will anchor you when the journey feels overwhelming.

Softball Is a Game of Failure

Softball is a game built on failure, which is why it’s so important to have the right mindset. You’ll strike out, make errors, and lose games, but those moments don’t define you. When you learn to embrace failure as part of the process, you free yourself to enjoy the game.

This mindset shift allowed me to find joy in the journey, regardless of the outcome. I cherished every moment—every win, every loss, every practice—because I knew the game wouldn’t last forever.

Cherish Every Moment

If I could lace up my cleats one more time, I would. As someone whose senior season in 2020 was cut short by COVID-19, I understand how quickly it can all be taken away. Those months were brutally hard, but I found an opportunity in the setback. I leaned into my faith, built lifelong friendships, and embraced the chance to play one more year. The experience taught me to never take the game for granted.

Softball is a gift, and the best way to honor it is to play with love and gratitude. Play because you love the game, because you want to uplift your teammates, and because you have the privilege of doing something you’re passionate about.

The Legacy You Leave

In the end, the numbers won’t matter. What will matter is the legacy you leave—the way you inspired others, the teammate you were, and the love you showed for the game. So play hard, but play for a bigger purpose. Find joy in the journey, and remember, it’s not about you. It’s about the people you impact and the memories you create.

Softball doesn’t last forever, but the lessons and relationships you gain from it do. Trust in God, embrace the challenges, and savor every moment on the field. When you do, you’ll find joy like never before.

Finding Joy in Giving

As Extra Inning Softball CEO Bonnie Holland shares, “Recently, I asked two of my nieces what their favorite holiday is and why. One said, ‘Christmas because we get to open gifts,’ while the other, just nine years old, said, ‘Christmas because we get to GIVE gifts.’ Her response beautifully captures the essence of joy: it’s not about you.”

In team sports, relationships, and life, when we focus only on ourselves, our efforts are rooted in selfishness, and true happiness becomes elusive. However, when we unite as a team and focus on others’ well-being, we build trust, support, and lasting joy. Each team member will face challenges—be it injury, loss, or personal trials—and the team’s strength becomes a lifeline during these times.

Holland continues, “True joy comes from centering our lives on others. The warmth and joy from focusing on others enrich our lives and build character that benefits both sports and life.”

The Savior taught, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). This Christlike love is the essence of teamwork and service.

Holland challenges everyone this season to “pay it forward” with a kind act of service for someone else. By focusing on others and aligning with Christ’s teachings, we find enduring happiness and strength.

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