The Mental Edge: Performance Trainer & Former DI Softball Coach Julie Jones… Dream, Strive, Achieve…Then What? How to Hold on to Happiness!

BY Julie Jones

Get access to even more Extra Inning Softball content!

In sports, like in life, we can reach our goals and then struggle to keep the excitement going… it’s called “Hedonic Adapation.” In today’s Mental Edge we learn how to use this to our advantage, like savoring this home run hit by Jaysoni Beachum!

Extra Inning Softball has partnered with former DI softball coach Julie Jones (Akron, Cleveland State) and current Mental Performance and Mindset Coach to help give athletes, coaches and others in the softball world the “Mental Edge.”

Julie spent 26 years leading Division I softball programs with her mission being simple: to build smarter students, stronger athletes and better people.

Today, she also serves as an Adjunct Professor at Ursuline College teaching well-being and performance, mindset training, athletic coaching and career development courses in both the undergraduate and graduate studies programs.

Continuing her work of helping student-athletes reach their goals on and off the field, Julie regularly sends Mindset Made Simple Tips to players and coaches across the country as well as posting them on her site, SSB Performance.

Today’s “Mindset Made Simple” touches on what happens when we have goals and then we REACH them, be it success in sports, school, our careers, relationships, etc.

We often strive to reach a destination but what happens when we get there? Are we happy?

What happens when “the excitement of the things we want fades quickly and things become our new normal?” When we GET what we want but the excitement of achieving it fades?

This is called “Hedonic Adaptation”or, in other words: We get used to stuff. This can be both good and bad, depending on how you use it!

Very interesting stuff this week… read on to see what else Coach Jones says about it that can make your life better by staying happy and recreating these times of joy!

*****

I can’t think of the name of the Christmas carol, but there is one that wishes for Christmas all year long. There is part of me that would love that.

Truthfully, I think I’d wish for summer all year long! (Ohio resident problems 😊).

We think THINGS or OPPORTUNITES will make us happy. And they will…for a while!

If we had Christmas (or summer) all year, the magic would fade, the cheer would dissipate, the decorations would become one more thing to clean or clean around.

Ultimately, it would not be special anymore. We would take it for granted and not be any happier than we were before the things we looked forward to with great anticipation.

Such is true with all things.

Here is our M.O. We strive for or anticipate something – we get there – and then we realize, “eh, it’s okay!”

This can happen with making a team, earning a starting role, marriages, earning more money, winning a championship, gifts…most things!

The excitement of the things we want fades quickly and things become our new normal. They say we may get more benefit from the lead-up to the events than the event itself. Just thinking about that vacation may be better for your well-being than the vacation itself! Crazy!

This happens with athletes, too. And if this is true, it affects our teams and their performance!

They work for and anticipate a scholarship.

They get it. They are pumped to announce, for their parents to brag. But then they must go out and play a million more games – with a little less excitement.

Receiving a scholarship only happens to 2% of high school athletes, but then the next steps on the journey–going to college, competing for a starting spot, etc.–can make it tough to appreciate and keep the excitement around getting the scholarship in the first place!

They get pumped again when it is time to get to campus. They are so happy to finally be a college athlete.

Then that wears off (after the first day of practice 😊)! Being a DI athlete becomes something we take for granted even though only 2% of high school athletes ever get to be one!

We get used to stuff. This can be both good and bad, depending on how you use it!

Psychologists call this “HEDONIC ADAPTATION.”

No ONE THING will keep us feeling happy, excited or engaged indefinitely.

BUT there are ways to stay happy and recreate those feelings of joy!

THIS IS ALWAYS A CHOICE!

One way described by Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, is to remember the uniqueness or situations or opportunities.

We need to remember what drove us…OUR WHY!

I have told this story before, but it reminds me of a mistake I made as a coach.

He tells a story about people who work in the White House, working 12-hour days, wishing for time with family, etc. The working conditions take a toll on their well-being.

One thing that increased their happiness levels was touring people around the White House!

The awe and wonder of visitors and sharing the history and uniqueness of their everyday experience reminded them of HOW SPECIAL having access to the most prestigious building in the world is!

I think back to my days at Cleveland Stat and giving Official Visits tours to recruits. Sharing what was special about the place kept those special things front and center in my mind.

I did this, not because I knew it increased my satisfaction with my job, but because I was practically a one-man show and I was selling myself as much as I was selling the underrated campus.

As my staff grew, we had shinier and better things and I stopped giving tours.

Little did I know that I was hurting myself by not sharing in the awe of those recruits as they traveled around to see our awesome facilities and meet our amazing staff.

I lost some of the excitement of our awesome facilities and campus which sometimes made me forget how darn lucky I was. I was on the hedonic treadmill. I also lost that opportunity to build deeper relationships which enhances our well-being, too!

What do we need to do to keep the uniqueness of what you and your athletes do at the forefront of your minds?

Research also shows that adding variety to our lives and a new sense of appreciation can help us hold on to the joy we feel in our experiences in and out of sport, too.

The simple act of mixing up practice can do the trick (as you are aware).

That favorite drill done every day becomes a drill we move through without attention or intention, and we go through the motions. This happens to the very best of our athletes, too!

Tackle a new experience, a new skill, a new drill…a new challenge. Events experienced in new ways are more likely to lead to increased happiness.

Our mental performance tools can also help us avoid being complacent.

Visualizing past and future experiences, being present, looking at something from a different perspective and noticing nuances can help us stay IN THE MOMENT and enjoy things as they happen and long after.

Through visualizing their highlight reel and simply stringing together a bunch of their best experiences, our athletes can relive their love of the game when that complacency sets in. This not only helps them feel the excitement of performing, but it also can help them build confidence and improve their skill.

One way to keep the feels of excitement going: be grateful for those around you!

Simply visualizing the joy of winning and seeing those they love being so proud of them can remind them of why they play and put in the work necessary to perform at their best.

We can’t forget the amazing tool of GRATITUDE!

We have talked about these well-documented benefits before and ending practice talking about what we are grateful for…or even better, beginning it that way can help us give attention to all that is good and joyful!

Seasons and careers are long and sometimes hard. Figuring out how to help increase our happiness can make a big difference in how our teams’ function!

Hedonic adaptation is not normally looked at as a good thing. However, it can be!

We strive for something. We get it. We get used to it. Time to work for more!

This is a GOOD THING for our athletes!

You hit 61 MPH. Now it’s time to hit 63 MPH. Set a plan. Put in the work. Strive to be better.

*** The problem comes when we think reaching 63, winning a championship or entering that new relationship will be the thing that makes us happy forever.

WRONG! Remember, no one thing will keep us happy. We have to work at it.

Happiness is like a leaky tire. We must keep adding air to keep it rolling.

Getting our athletes off the hedonic treadmill by appreciating their opportunities, relationships and experiences will help increase their POSITIVE EMOTIONS.

And we all know that POSITIVE EMOTION IS ESSENTIAL to PEAK PERFORMANCE!

Encouraging them to use hedonic adaptation or that feeling of contentment or “eh” to strive for more is another way to keep them moving forward – so long as we remind them that nothing will make them happy or content forever. Both are a choice!

Choosing to change our focus (by adding variety) and using our tools to keep us connected to our “why” can make us better…and more satisfied!

Here is to finding joy in everyday stuff, too!

I hope you have a happy and healthy start to 2022!

Julie

To learn more from Julie check out her social media sites below; to contact her personally, she can be reached via email at: juliej@ssbperformance.com